i am holding half an acre

Earlier I was thinking about crying (see the first post for today for reference,) and then I was reading someone else's blog about being inappropriately overemotional during media events (I'm probably the only person EVER who may or may not have cried during Ice Princess when her Mom actually did show up to see her skate. Actually, I may be the only person who has actually seen Ice Princess.) But that got me started thinking about crying while reading.

I haven't cried over a book in a long time. I think it's because with all the different kinds of medias, and with the way that I learn best -- which neither visually nor auditorily, has put me in a position to enjoy books superficially. I love reading. I love getting lost in the story, I love the characters (especially thinking about the characters as if I was one of them) and I especially love re-reading my favorites until I could basically recite them back to you word for word.

But I remember reading 'Where the Red Fern Grows' when I was younger (spoilers soon, so if you plan on reading this and don't know the story, you might want to stop reading.) Sometime between 1st and 5th grade, because we were still living in Gunter. Probably 4th grade, if I had to guess? Anyway, I was nearing the end of the book, so I was sitting in the living room in our high-backed courduroy chair while my mom cooked dinner. I have a very specific memory (which are hard for me to hold onto a lot of the time) of getting to the part where one of the dogs -- the one that has been mauled by a mountain lion, I believe -- dies. I was not a crier as a kid, but I remember putting down the book and just bawling. I cried my way into the kitchen where my Mom was and I explained what was going on, to which she replied, "But why are you crying?"

It was the first time I can remember connecting with a story line so fully and emotionally. Ultimately, my response was that the author made it feel like they were my dogs. I was living through the pain.

Isn't that what every author wants? It's certainly what I want when I write. It's what writing (and really media) is about -- connections. To your life and circumstances, to someone you know. To make you think outside the box, to someone else's circumstances. Sure, there are artists and authors who say they don't do it for other people, and some of them probably don't. But here in the blog world, I think what we really crave, is connection.

We were watching the first couple episodes of Season 6 of House last night, and his psychiatrist said, "Isolation breeds depression." It isn't a revelation, or any new piece of information, but it made me feel more ok about being sad while isolated.

You can't force relationships, all you can do is reach out.

p.s. I'm working my way through the entire Animorphs series, which I read most of when I was in middle school. They are the most ridiculous things in the whole world, but I'm so entertained. I just want to keep gobbling them up!